I've done it!

I have completely eliminated disposable diapers from our household and I refuse to buy them ever again. It's interesting that as soon as you stop making excuses for why you CAN'T do something, you find that you actually can, you just make it work. I always used cloth at home, but had disposables just in case I didn't feel like doing laundry, or for when we went out because they were more "convenient." Truth is, how hard is it to do laundry? And is it really more convenient to throw something out rather than put it in a bag to bring home? Not really.

And I think that I have changed my outlook. In the past when people have defended why they use disposables, I have nodded politely and respect their opinions, after all, we're just doing the best we can, right? Well, now I disagree with myself. You know what is the best you can do? USE CLOTH DIAPERS. It's not hard, it's not gross. It's easier to wash a load of diapers then to pack up your baby and go to a store to buy disposables, and it's gross to think of how many chemicals you're putting next to your babies skin to absorb moisture, GROSS!

So, what'll it be? Are you going to do what you think is convenient for you now, or are you going to do what is going to help save the planet for your children later? Seems an easy call to me.

I have set my new blog for my Priestess path, you can check it out here, but it's blank at the moment. Nick is going out tonight to do geeky things with his friends, so perhaps I will be able to add some inspired thoughts once the babe is in bed.

I'm also hoping in the next week to get the blogs set up for the Sunlit Hearth so we can post news and other ramblings on what's going on with that. I don't want to feel pressured to do formal "newsletters", so blogs, that's the way to go in my books.

And man my blog is boring lately, I promise to right something interesting soon. I just have so many thoughts swimming in my head lately, most relating to starting up this business and probably not at all interesting to anyone else but me.

SUCCESS!

Every day just seems to get better and better in the Johnston house these days, must be the The Secret at work! Here are some examples:

Nick got a promotion yesterday, woohoo! I'm very proud of him, now he "officially" gets to boss people around. Let's hope it doesn't go to his head.

I have a couple of part-time childcare jobs lined up until we move into the new house and I can start my dayhome. This will be a huge help to get us over the hump from when my EI runs out until I get my business going.

We had started to become very unhappy with our builder (long, long story, basically residual crap from the old sales guy who has since been fired)...anyway... the president of the company basically said, "I will do whatever it takes to make you happy." So essentially he's paying for 90% of our upgrades for us. He's even putting a built-in china cabinet in the kitchen for us FOR FREE! My tea cup collection thanks him.

And I have had a completely divinely inspired thought of what the heck it is I want to do with my life long term. All of my current quest for knowledge about Reiki, divination, different therapies, they all have a common link. I am giving myself a year and then I am going to start my own wellness company called "The Healing Well" I will focus on doing tarot and oracle card readings, reiki treatments, past life regressions, and colour, crystal, and aroma therapies. This will be great because it's something I can do in the evenings while still running my dayhome, very exciting.

And so life is very, very good. Not to mention that I have the three cutest cats on the face of the planet (they currently have me surrounded), and the most adorable baby boy EVER (don't even try to tell me he's not because he soooooo is), and a wonderful husband who makes me laugh (and often shake my head). Lucky me!

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Decisions, decisions...

Funny how your mind drifts when you're up at midnight with severe insomnia...

Nick and I have decided to try to have another baby. Trust me, this was not an easy decision to come to, there have been so many questions running through my head lately: do I really want another baby? can we handle another baby? do I want to be pregnant again? I kept telling myself that I was happy with just Tristan, that our family felt complete, and it does. I mean, if we didn't have another child I certainly wouldn't be going through my life saying my family was incomplete because of it. I feel like there is something (someone) else waiting for us.

You would think that since I am already a mother that deciding to have a second wouldn't be that big of a deal. In some ways though, it's bigger than it was the first time around. This time it's planned, executed. With Tristan, he was a surprise, completely. No one expects to get pregnant while on the pill! As much as I tried to convince myself that I wasn't ready to have a baby, how could I deny that this child obviously wanted to be born - why else would we have conceived? It seemed like there was somehow less pressure that way. If I didn't feel connected to the baby it was because I was still adjusting to the idea of being pregnant... if I couldn't picture myself being a mom it was because I never thought I wanted to be. So many excuses...

Now this time around, no excuses. I want this. So what if I don't do a good job? What if I physically can't handle it? What if I don't bond with this baby? What if I love Tristan more? Then what? It's my fault. No one else to blame.

But you know what? It'll be fine, it'll be great in fact. Nick is a wonderful father, and I hope that I'm a wonderful mom and will be again.

It's taken me a long time to really get to know my sister and appreciate her for who she is, but now I finally do. I hope that I can give that to Tristan and he can have the joy (and annoyance) of having a brother or sister.

And of course, babymaking is kind of fun too :)

Tristan, Month 7 Newsletter

Dear Tristan,
What a month this has been! This had by far been my favorite month with you so far. Where to begin?

We had a wonderful first Christmas with you. You quickly learned how to tear through the wrapping paper on your mountains of presents, although I think you were more interested in the wrapping than the present itself. I still can't believe how spoiled you got, we'll have to temper that next year I think. There are certainly a lot of people that love you very much!



You enjoyed Daddy's Christmas holidays and got to spend some quality time together, just the two of you. Consequently though your schedule was all out of whack and it's only just now that I've somewhat managed to get you back on track. I think you just like any excuse to be up and with the action for the night.

You had a blast at your first New Year's. You got to visit with all of your "aunts" and "uncles" and got treated to lots of play time and attention. You didn't seem so keen on Daddy's noisemakers though (I don't blame you) and you bawled every time one of them was fired off. You even stayed up until midnight and got to be Mommy's first kiss of 2007.



Developmentally, this has been a truly amazing month. In one day you totally mastered crawling and pulling yourself up to sitting, and man, were you proud of yourself! Now you've gotten really quick with the crawling though and have already decided that crawling is not enough, you need to be able to climb up things and are very keen on being able to stand up and walk (lord help us!) Magazines are not safe on the coffee table, shoes are not safe at the front door... I'm just waiting for you to discover the cat food!



Now that you're pulling yourself up on everything we've had to lower your crib to keep you better contained. For some reason that just seems like such a big step, a constant reminder of how much you've grown. You don't seem so much like my little baby anymore, now you're my little man. I keep thinking that one day I am going to have to face the reality that you are going to be a teenager someday. For now, I prefer to forget that and just enjoy your cuddles and your baby smiles and belly laughs.



You've even started to be able to feed yourself (messy as it is), which just shows me how grown up you are. You haven't given up the boob yet though, and for that I'm happy. I think I'll miss the excuse to do nothing but cuddle you 8 times a day.

We tried to start you in swimming lessons this month but the water at the pool was just too cold for you! Daddy said you did enjoy the hot tub though, so apparently you just appreciate being pampered. We'll have to find you a warmer pool and try again because it is just too cute to see you wiggle your little legs and try to blow bubbles in the water.



I am still blown away every day by how much I love you. You truly are an amazing little boy, and everyone that knows you says the same. You're always so happy, so easy to please, you have a smile for everyone and usually a giggle as well. How did we get so lucky? Apparently we must have done something right to deserve such a wonderful little boy. You are my sweetheart.



Love,
Momma
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Being a mom is fun!

It doesn't change your life at all! It just means that when you're up at 3:00am it's not because you're just coming home from the bar or from a hot date... it means that your baby has a fever and a cold and will not sleep unless they are rightnexttoyou, and if you move even slightly they will wake up screaming. So, you sit, and try not to breathe, in hopes that your little darling will get some shut eye.

This mom things ROCKS!

I was sitting here, struggling to come up with a reason why I haven't been blogging much lately. Truth is, I just feel boring right now. I haven't really done anything since the holidays finished and I'm back in the "real world".

The cats have done some stupid things, Tristan has done some super cute things, I've been a total raging bitch, blah blah blah - does anyone really want to hear that crap?

Trying to kick the New Year off right by really sticking to our budget because we have NO MONEY after Christmas, I have come to the profound conclusion that budgeting sucks. Perhaps that's why I feel boring? It's hard to feel all snazzy and profound when you lack your Decaf Venti Caramel Machiatto with Whip. I said to A.J. last week that no matter how broke I was, I wouldn't give up my Starbucks, but I'm even struggling to justify that lately. I am left with this horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that oh my god, my EI is going to run out soon and then I will no longer have a financial contribution to our household income. Until this whole dayhome thing pans out and is as fabulous as I assume it will be.

hmmm... what else can I go on about.... OH! I'm starting to do this whole Priestesshood Path thingy (such a good way to describe a very important spiritual journey, eh?) I think I may start a new blog for that, because it doesn't really belong here. Also, working on getting some blogs and a newsletter set up for the Sunlit Hearth, stay tuned for that.

And now, I am going to go shower and get my child fed and dressed because I have Clothing Club this morning, and darn it, today is a good day and I'm going to win! (In case you don't know what a clothing club in, you get 12 people together, pitch in $25 and each month of the year you pull a name and whoever gets chosen gets the pot for the month, then all the money must be spent on YOU - clothes, hair cut, spa day, whatever).

And then we also have playgroup... and then I'm going to call Jeff and beg him to poke my legs with needles because my knees freaking HURT, and the last time he did it I caught the needle on the tablecloth which left a really nifty bruise that looks oddly like a Brigid's Cross.

If you're still reading this, perhaps your life is more boring than mine, no?

It's all over!

The holidays that is, and I couldn't be happier. We had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's, but I was just so ready to pack away the clutter and have my house back. I hate all of the "stuff" that comes with Christmas. For about the first week I love the tree, and the lights, and the ribbons and trim, and then I start to resent it. I found that especially this year when I am surrounded by it 24/7. A cluttered environment makes for a cluttered mind, and mine is bad enough at the best of times.

Tristan seems to be starting to settle back into a routine. All of the excitement of the holidays, combined with dad being home for 10 days, and going through teething and a growth spurt have meant that our schedule has been out the window, I hope the worst is over though! Babies should not be staying up until 1am, I don't care how cute and happy they are.

This week has been all about getting things back together and getting myself organized. The house looks great (if I do say so myself), the laundry is done (ironing not included because I do that, oh, once a year), and Nick and I have been swapping cooking, and it's all working out well! Looks like in 2007 we're headed in the direction of domestic bliss. I have a feeling this is going to be a great year!

Resolutions for 2007

I know that a lot of people really hate New Year's resolutions, and no matter how bad I am at keeping them, I always enjoy making them! Here is what I am working at in 2007:

- Be more dependable. Since having Tristan I've gotten much flakier than I used to be, don't commit to too much, and if I commit, stick to it!

- Be more eco-conscious and work towards a new goal in this respect each week

- Stop using disposable diapers entirely and just use cloth (I hope to do this by the end of January)

- Spend more time meditating

- Devote more time to Nick, just the two of us

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