Clean Slate

We had a huge snowfall last night and all of the houses in the suburbs look like a gingerbread village dusted with icing sugar, beatiful and delicious. This is just the kind of day that I needed.

Yesterday was a bad day. I had a miscarriage yesterday morning, and even though I didn't know I was pregnant, it's still hard. At the time I really wasn't that upset, just in physical pain. Last night though Tristan was having problems sleeping in his crib so he came to bed and snuggled up against me, and I held him close to my chest and just thought, "Wow, we could have had this again in a few months, and now we're not going to."

It's truly for the best, I am honestly thinking now that I only want one child, it just makes you think.

In happier news, I am registered to go to a workshop on starting your own dayhome in December. It would be nice to be able to say home with the babe and earn an income at the same time. There were basically three choices - just stay home with Tristan and not have any money (not a good option for me, Nick and I aren't very good at being frugal), go back to work and put Tristan into daycare (I don't like this option as I don't want someone else raising my child), or have a dayhome which can make me money and allow me to stay home with my son (and gives Tristan some in-house playmates). So that's the plan! And for all of you thinking "Sam, run a dayhome? Seriously?" I actually used to help out with running a dayhome when I was in grades 11 and 12 so it's not a foreign concept to me. There were 8 kids there though, I'm aiming for 2-3.

So, that's life in a nutshell. I am going to go and cozy up to the fire with my hot chocolate and my kitties before Tristan wakes up.

Happy snow day everyone!